嘘～～～～～

别出声

听我说

都过去了

什么也不想说

这样挺好

有些事

是没办法说清楚的

就算在多年之后

发现那是一场误会

只能说明我们还不够坚定

明白吗

信任

以前给的太多

现在给的太少

所以

向前看吧

祝我们都找到幸福

以前总在听人说时间怎么样，现在真的体会到了

2008年参加了工作，放弃了乐队，放弃了曾经最引以自豪的东西

感觉自己肩上的担子轻了一点（都卸给王梦楠了-_-#）

但是我没有对这种自私的行为感到后悔，毕竟中国跟美国不一样

我的能力决定了我的追求，就算不能世界巡演，也还有机会在地球上转一转的，看看世界

觉得一个人真是太渺小了，可是渺小也有渺小的好处，一个人在车里等红灯时跟着音乐晃晃头也挺有意思的

说回来，在另一份担子卸下的时候又感觉把另外一份担子背起来了

家庭，亲情，失去联系很久的朋友

以前过的太自我了

突然就觉得自己欠家人太多了，我也不知道为什么会这么想，都怪时间

 

 

 

 

如题，没事的可以找来看看，BAIDU一搜都成了，找浙大的那场看

昨天被人奚落为"little baby"

很不爽

原本大脑里那条虽然遥远但笔直的梦想之路已经被弯曲的看不到尽头了.

Am I too spoiled?

是的,我承认我家人给我的条件比很多同龄人都优越,但是这些都是他们想要的,并不是我.

父亲,母亲,姐姐想要的只是一纸文凭,他们说这东西能在以后的社会上派上用场,

于是被安排到财经学院,可是那里没有我想要的东西

又被送到北京,又是上学,甚至要我重新学习文化课,我的目标在哪里,我已经迷失了.

 

原本只是一把吉他,一个乐队,我就能满足的生活下去,

为什么要在我的头上加这么多没用的东西,这些并不是我想要的,

所以不要说你们为我创造了这么多条件,你们只是为你们的小人偶创造了条件,那不是我.

 

我已经妥协很多了.我不会再继续妥协下去,因为这是我的人生.

 

 

好象每次更新BLOG都在夜里

思考的最坏时间,因为明天起床肯定会忘记这种感觉.

如果有记录情绪的东西多好.

 

今天看了些以前的照片,黎明的Hamilton,吃青菜的猫,小绿E8018,几年来的自己和周围的人.很想笑,早先做过的事竟是如此的幼稚和有创意,又很想哭,仿佛那些照片就像生命的刻度一样,记录着我衰老的过程.有些事还想再体验一次,有些事又永远不想再经历.

 

还是学不会整理,房间,时间,思绪,一切的一切就像一团没有头的线.今天的决定跟着12点的指针走了,明天的希望却迟迟不来,这就是生活么?

 

 

如题~!

 

 

唉.

唉.

只能说是缺乏演出经验啊.

日.

加油加油.

 

今天又乱想了
主题是"郑州是没有文化的城市"
文化指的不是博学, 而是一种独特的艺术氛围和凝聚力,记得若干月前在健身房的一本杂志上看到一篇文章名为<<郑州没有艺术>>,还以为是瞎扯淡,后悔没有看下去.还记得当年听说的"郑州一年喝倒一个酒品牌",大概就是这个意思吧.郑州也算一个历史悠久的城市了,但是现在能让人回忆的也就是紫荆山路那一段号称商都遗址的土墙.在全国范围来看,河南也就是一个少林寺和梨园春,偶尔也有一些无聊分子宣扬的"河南骗子论",并不是我们这一代人不想把河南的文化或精华发扬光大,只是实在是没有一些这样的东西让我们来缅怀和歌颂.我觉得其实在中国也是这么一个情况,就拿音乐来说,中国几千年前就有了自己的五声音阶,为什么现在充斥着音乐市场的却是港台的流行调子,欧美音乐和一些日本韩国的明星.为什么现在的年轻人听不到曾经是最牛B的中国自己的音乐,不要说年轻人崇洋媚外,同样是年轻人,日本和美国人做出的东西就那么有民族特色.在经济飞速发展的时候,我们是不是忽略了精神层次的发展,所以才造成了外来文化的大肆入侵.

真的想站在世界的舞台上奏出大中国的东西,也许是我修为还差的太远,也许是根本没有什么可以抓住的.

我不是你的狗 不要命令我做任何事

我不是养成游戏的主角 不要为我安排人生

我不是LOSER 至少还不完全是 SO SAVE YOUR PITIES

我不是大海 我有忍耐的限度

我不是棵大树 我会随风飘走

我想要的只是在充满未知的旅途中寻找自己的归属

如果爱我就爱我的一切

如果觉得我烦

STEP OUT OF MY WAY OR IM GONNA KNOCK YOUR HEAD OFF

'CAUSE I AINT GOT NO TIME TO PLEASE YOU

 

 

歌词啊歌词 没有针对谁

 

PS 老婆好老婆妙老婆呱呱叫

everything's messed up

 

fuckfuckfuck

 

大家好,又到了下雨的时候了,今天给大家推荐一首歌

 

Evanescence的Hello

 

Playground schoolbell rings, again
Rainclouds come to play, again
Has no one told you she's not breathing ?
Hello, I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to...Hello...
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me
I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide...
*Don't cry...*
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here, all that's left
Of yesterday...

 

ENJOY

好久没下雨了,如果没有记错的话,有一年没下过了.

小时候很变态的喜欢下雨天,那种压抑的感觉让我觉得很安全,世界变的很小.

 

如果您看不到更新,有两个原因,一是您的浏览器有问题,请按刷新键或者F5进行刷新;

如果还看不到那么就是第2个原因,该BLOG并没有更新.

谢谢

王前的店差不多好了,白天能有个地方呆了

啥时候我才能有自己的窝

窝窝窝

 

Sweet Lady

hunting her funs at 11:58
i met her on the midnight street
there're burning flames on her lips
her eyes took my soul away

 

her voice sounds like 18
horny dress makes her witch
shes a mermaid lying on the beach
couldnt help to kiss her lips

 

come my sweet lady
im gonna get u laid
come my sweet lady
u know im not lying (bitch..)

 

she drives her car at 90 miles speed
across thru the mountains towns and the cities
she got wild heart wild soul and devil in deep
shes a mustang needs to be tamed

 

i got no money i ain't not pretty
satisfaction is all i can give
so honey please give me a chance let me
let me show you my heart is not lying

 

come my sweet lady
im gonna get u laid
come my sweet lady
cant get my eyes away
come my sweet lady
im the one u need
come my sweet lady
shake it baby.....

(solo)

i got no money i ain't not pretty
satisfaction is all i can give
so honey please give me a chance let me
let me show you my heart's not lying

 

come my sweet lady
im gonna get u laid
come my sweet lady
cant get my eyes away
come my sweet lady
im the one u need
come my sweet lady
shake it shake it shake it shake it.....

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.